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Tips for Spending Quality Time With Your Child by Jessica Alvarado

Let’s face it—life is busy! Between work and life responsibilities, the days pass us by in the blink of an eye. Many parents worry that they don’t spend enough time with their children, wondering if this will lead to developmental delays. Some parents feel guilty about working full time, or experience anxiety about choosing to work out at the gym or go to dinner with friends. Social media posts from stay-at-home parents who are able to take their children to the local zoo or work on colors and the alphabet with them only add to this anxiety. 

But have no despair! A recent study in the Journal of Marriage and Family questions the impact the amount of time mothers spend with their children has on the academic achievement, behavior, and emotional well-being of their children. This is not to negate the importance of time spent with children, but rather, to reinforce the point that quality of time is much more important than quantity of time. Children need high-quality time with parents and caregivers—that is what is most beneficial to children and what can have a positive effect on them as they grow. It isn’t about endless hours of time—it’s about how you choose to spend that time that truly matters. 

As parents and caregivers, we can make choices to ensure time spent with our children is high-quality. Here are nine tips for busy families: 

1. Have a daily “connect” time with your child. Do this face-to-face, if possible; but if this isn’t an option, create a routine for doing so in other ways, such as leaving a note in your child’s lunch bag, posting a note by his toothbrush, or writing an encouraging saying on a shared whiteboard in the house. 
2. Create a special ritual for you and your child—something that can be done every day. For example, let your child choose and read one book with you at bedtime.
3. Tell your child you love her every day. And tell her how important she is to you and how she makes you feel.
4. Reinforce positive behavior. For example, if your child completes his chores without your asking, acknowledge it with words of appreciation—even if you don’t have the chance do so until the next day.
5. Make and eat meals with your children whenever possible. If time is limited, look for simple meals that require very little preparation, or grab a healthy snack such as an apple and sit for a few minutes and chat with your child.
6. Schedule time for doing an activity of your child’s choosing. Be sure to follow through and complete the activity without any distractions.
7. Play with your child, even if it’s during bath time or outside before you drop her off at preschool. Every little bit of time makes a positive impact!
8. Laugh and be silly with your child.
9. Turn off technology when you spend time with your child. Try not to text, answer calls, scroll through social media, or watch television. 

Meaningful connections are about quality of time, not quantity of time. Keep it simple and connect with your child in ways that make sense for your lifestyle and relationship. Each connection has a lasting impact and provides the support and reassurance that your child needs.  

Secondary

End Of the School Year Anxiety 

 Is your child having a hard time right now? More meltdowns at home, stomach aches, trouble sleeping, not wanting to go to school, issues in the classroom?  It could be the end of the school year anxiety. 

Most of us parents think that back-to-school is the most anxiety producing time of year for children. In my experience working with parents, the end of the year is worse. 

The fear of the unknown coupled with well-meaning teachers’ attempts to prepare children for next year can make anxiety skyrocket at this time of the year. This is especially common in transition years, elementary to middle school, or middle school to high school, but can happen any time. 

Recognize that it could be anxiety 

Anxiety is the brain and body’s response to a perceived threat or overwhelming situation. This results in the fight-flight-or-freeze reaction. We typically think of anxiety as the flight or frozen reactions. For example, your child might be refusing to go to school, having a meltdown when you try to leave, or not listening to the teacher. But anxiety is also the fight response. So, a child who normally gets along well with their classmates might suddenly be having trouble doing so. 

What can you do 

Try saying something like this: “Changes are always a little hard, aren’t they? It’s so exciting that you’re going to have a new teacher or teachers, and maybe some new friends! At the same time, it can be really hard to not know what it’s going to be like! I understand. I felt like that too sometimes when I was your age.” 

Your child may or may not recognize that they are having a hard time because they are anxious about next year. You can still say, “I wonder if you’re feeling a little nervous about next year? It’s hard to make changes, isn’t it?” 

When you acknowledge your child’s feelings, they may feel better just knowing that you get it. Or it’s possible that your child has some stored-up feelings about this and needs to cry or express his/her feelings. 

Normalize their fears 

Try saying something like this: 

“Of course, you are feeling nervous about next year! Everyone gets nervous about a new teacher or new school.” 

Let them know they can handle it! 

We don’t know either what next year will hold, but we will be there to support them through anything that might arise. 

Anxiety loves certainty. We need to help our anxious children get comfortable with the unknown. “We don’t know yet who your teacher or teachers will be or who will be in your class.  You are a person who can do hard things! I know you’ll be able to handle whatever happens and I’ll be right here to support you however I can!” 

If your child is still having a hard time, make sure they are expressing their feelings. Laughter and tears help to get rid of the fears and big feelings that they are carrying around. 10 minutes of laughing before school every day can work wonders.   

Try to remember that your child is doing the best they can (even though it feels like they’re giving you a hard time!) The more you understand what is going on, the more you can help with this tricky time of year.  

REFERENCE - https://www.sarahrosensweet.com/end-of-school-year-anxiety/