Nord Anglia Education
WRITTEN BY
Nord Anglia
24 April, 2025

Message from Head of Primary

Message from Head of Primary - Message from Head of Primary
Parenting and Letting Go

I was really touched by Áine’s newsletter piece last week, posing the question: ‘What would I tell my younger self?’

I spent some time afterwards thinking about my own parenting journey, and what it’s all been about, now that my two are adults and have ‘flown the nest’. Parenting isn’t easy for any of us, and that’s true even if you’re an experienced school leader – at home, I’m just Dad.

My belief as a parent has always been that I don’t own my children. They are individuals, with choice and responsibility in their own lives. I tried to model that when they were small children and, in different ways, as they’ve grown up. As I see it, my job is to guide them, love them and listen to them – but even when they were little, I always wanted to give them trust and help them to think for themselves.

Of course, this hasn’t always worked, and sometimes I’ve got it wrong – as we all do. Sometimes I’ve nagged and interfered when I shouldn’t have, and sometimes I’ve backed off when it would have been better to step in. My family has had its share of tense moments and friction, just like all families do.

At the end of it all, my children are now adults, and I find myself reflecting on what really mattered throughout their childhoods. They’re both doing well as young adults and are continuing their learning, but the questions I really care about are:

  • Are they good, kind people? I believe so.
  • Are they able to cope with the world? So far, so good.
  • Do I still have a loving and close relationship with them? Thank goodness, yes.

There are so many expectations on our young people to achieve amazing things. There are huge external pressures from social media and anxieties caused by the crazy world we inhabit. I’m happy (and relieved) that I can answer those questions positively.

In our hearts, we never truly let go of our children – but in our actions, we don’t have any choice. They're going to move on, whether we like it or not. Give them your trust, give them your belief in who they are, and keep giving them your love.

In the end, that’s what matters.

John Dibdin

Head of Primary