When it comes to finding the right school, there are countless data sources to explore. You can pore over the school’s test scores and university destinations, websites, and social media in search of signs that this could be the place.
But some soul-searching is also needed into your own aspirations. What is it, precisely, that you want for your child, beyond vague aims of them being “happy and successful”? It’s a daunting question, and requires reflection around your ideas about learning, community and perhaps even the nature of a meaningful life.
In many ways, it begins with working out if a school delivers what it promises. This means looking for tangible evidence of a school’s values and seeing how it prioritises wellbeing as well as academics. Does the learning environment foster curiosity and collaboration and nurture emotional and social development? Is there joy alongside academic rigour?
Barnaby Sandow, Principal of Nord Anglia International School Dublin, thinks when parents visit a school it pays to spend time in the classroom, and walk the floor.
“Look at how the classrooms are set up, not in rows for rote learning in that traditional way,” he says. “Looking at the opportunities for curiosity and collaboration, and a sense of purpose.” A sense of agency is a critical factor, he continues, and a tell-tale sign are displays of student work that don’t conform to an identikit approach.
“If you can see that the outputs are very different, you can see that the children have found something interesting and followed it to depth because they've tapped into that passion,” he says.
“An approach that empowers their curiosity means that the kids are actively engaged. Their brains will be firing off serotonin and dopamine, and they're learning because they want to learn.”
That’s as opposed to “being hammered towards exams where they're fearful of what will happen if they fail, so they're flooding their brains with adrenaline and cortisol and learning through fear,” he says.
It’s crucial, then, to ask yourself what it is that you’re looking for in your child’s classroom experience. And then ask staff about exactly that when you visit, advises Oona Carlin, Principal of the British International School of Washington.
She recommends that parents should see a prospective school in person, ideally more than once, and have open, honest conversations with the educators there, exploring how they “understand the process of learning and the different approaches they might implement”.
“A good school will be able to explain how they individualise their lessons and make sure each learner is able to make progress,” she says.
She also advises visiting during a typical school day. Her school offers “a lot of open houses”, she continues, which differ from open days in that they show “not just all of our bang and whizz activities” but “the day-to-day business and functioning of the school”.
For Tracy Connor, Principal of Léman International School Chengdu, being similarly explicit about the way that those with additional needs will be catered for is also key. She advises that parents explore the inclusion policy and follow up on the specifics of how it is applied.
“Are students withdrawn to receive support, or can that be catered for in the classroom? Are there dedicated and well-trained members of the academic team to deliver this support?”, she offers.
Choosing the right school should be a collaborative process between parents and children. For younger learners, this often means creating opportunities for them to experience the school environment in a relaxed, natural way.
As Barnaby Sandow explains: “Many schools offer ‘stay and play’ sessions, which allow children to explore classrooms, interact with teachers, and engage with other students in an informal setting. These experiences can be invaluable in helping parents gauge their child's comfort level and natural response to the space—after all, a child who feels at ease is far more likely to thrive.”
For middle and high school students, involvement becomes even more critical. At this stage, they have a clearer sense of their interests, learning preferences, and ambitions.
Encouraging them to ask questions and express their thoughts on school visits helps them feel heard. More importantly, reflecting their words back to them—acknowledging their concerns, aspirations, or excitement—shows your child that their input matters. This builds trust and helps them develop ownership of their education, reinforcing that the final choice is a shared decision rather than one being made for them.
This intersects with the question of the kind of wellbeing support your child would benefit from. It’s a topic that looms large for all schools, but especially those that offer boarding, such as the Swiss International Scientific School in Dubai, led by Principal Ruth Burke. If you are considering a school where your child will be living on the premises for much of the year, ensuring that there are the right systems in place for them to feel taken care of, particularly in challenging times, is likely to be a key focus.
“Central, when any student or their parent, feels that they are struggling is open communication and transparency,” Burke says. “Having trusted adults available, and relationships rooted in respect and care will support early identification of issues and dialogue towards finding solutions.”
And there is, once again, enormous value in being assertive in your discussions around such systems.
“Beyond coming in with some crystals and seeing whether they light up in the ambience, I think you are justified in asking what systematic approaches the pastoral leads use to know how happy the students are,” Barnaby Sandow says.
NAIS Dublin uses the PERMAH approach. This breaks wellbeing down into six areas: positive emotions, engagement, relationships, meaning, accomplishment, and health, and offers “actual, concrete actions that [students] can take to address each of them”.
There is also the question of the social and emotional needs of parents as it relates to the school community. Are you looking for a place to show your skills at bake sales and festivals, or would you prefer a more hands-off approach? The closeness of communities around international schools can be an enormous source of support for some, with networks of family and friends often far away.
When looking at a school, explore how parents are welcomed, and what “conscious community building” takes place.
“We're really fortunate to have a coffee shop here with a parent lounge, which was actually made by the parents,” Sandow says. “That's a tangible piece of evidence that a community exists, and that they want to hang out in the same space.”
And how about your child’s life outside the classroom? Would they enjoy a packed roster of sports and clubs, or be more at home in a well- appointed library? Explore how your child could be helped to thrive beyond the curriculum, for fun and even future career paths, Oona Carlin suggests.
“If they want to be a medic, ask if there’s a medical society. If they're interested in going into politics, is there debating club or Model United Nations?”
Likewise, she continues, consider what other life skills you want for your child, from financial awareness to cooking.
“It helps you to make friends if you can cook a good spaghetti Bolognese when you go off to university,” she laughs.
Ultimately, your school choice will transcend logistics and academic rankings, and, hopefully, will be about alignment. To find the right fit, you will need to interrogate your own beliefs and try to best understand those of the teachers and leaders at your prospective schools.
Then you can engage in the kind of nuanced, focused dialogue needed for this task, which is, after all, not just about choosing a school, but a partnership for shaping your child’s life.
Values
Your child’s views
Learning environment
Communication
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