How to Raise Curious Kids in an Age of Change

The pace of technological change feels truly staggering today. AI can now create high-quality text, images, and music from simple prompts. Space travel is no longer exclusive to governments, with private companies like SpaceX on the rise. CRISPR technology can even edit human genes to treat disorders like sickle cell anemia.

In the face of such rapid change, it’s important to prepare our kids for a future rife with change. British professor and AI expert Rose Luckin says one key solution is simply to “make them good at learning”, instilling them with the confidence and curiosity to know how to learn and adapt. 

As researchers into all-things education, we’ve spent three years investigating what good learning looks like, interviewing nearly 100 students along with parents, teachers, scientists, psychologists, and academics to better understand how kids learn best and what gets in their way. We wrote at length about our findings in The Disengaged Teen, with three key findings:

1. Engagement is the key to success. Even more so than grades, it predicts achievement, happiness, and resilience.

2. Parents’ influence can’t be overstated. As parents, we can significantly influence our kids’ engagement at school. Understanding what we call the “four modes of learning” can help get the right support into place in your family. 

3. The right environment helps kids explore and be curious. Recognising where kids are in their own learning journey helps us prevent them from getting stuck and encourages more moments of exploration.

The four modes of learning leading to curious kids

Kids’ motivation and engagement in school aren’t always visible to adults, but we can understand it better by categorising it into four modes of learning: 

• Resister mode: This is when kids feel inadequate or invisible. They may disengage by ignoring homework, skipping class, or acting out.

   

• Passenger mode: Kids in this mode coast along, doing the bare minimum. They often struggle to connect their interests or goals with their learning.

   

• Achiever mode: This is when students appear engaged but are often too tied to their performance. They may fear failure and are at risk of burnout and mental health challenges.

   

• Explorer mode: This is the ideal state, where kids are driven by internal curiosity and pursue questions that matter to them. They persist in achieving their goals and develop resilience. Research shows kids in Explorer mode get better grades, are more motivated, and happier.

The Explorer advantage: productive and happy children

The peak of the engagement mountain is Explorer mode, when kids are taking initiative, setting meaningful goals, and marshalling resources to meet them. But to help kids spend more time in this mode, parents and teachers must create opportunities for it.

One key approach is teaching “learning to learn” skills, otherwise known as metacognition. It’s something Nord Anglia Education is pioneering in partnership with Boston College and involves three key processes:

• Self-awareness: Are you paying attention? Daydreaming? Are you confused or overwhelmed? “This is knowing yourself as a learner, setting goals and knowing the strategies that will improve your thinking,” says Dr Kate Erricker, Nord Anglia’s Group Head of Education Research.

• Regulation: Being able to adapt strategies when learning is tough. For example, can you pivot if you’re struggling to write a tricky essay, perhaps by making an outline? “Regulation is about knowing what to do in our learning and when to do it,” says Erricker.

• Transfer: “It’s taking the problem-solving skills you use in class and applying them to new, real-world situations,” Erricker adds. 

With these “learning to learn” skills, kids are not only exploring more, they can also avoid the procrastination cycle, where they stress about a task, delay starting it, and then stress more as deadlines approach.

The role of parents in encouraging engagement

Parents play a huge role, mainly through how you talk to your children. Research shows the way we talk to children affects their learning and brain development. Here are some strategies to improve conversations with teens:

1. Less instructional, more conversational: Teens crave respect but also need support, not just instructions like “just get your homework done.” Instead, use conversational language that invites dialogue, such as “What’s working for you in Chemistry and what’s not?” or “How would you like to get your work done?”

    

2. Less advice, more asking questions: Instead of offering solutions to rescue kids from the struggle of getting to an answer, ask open-ended questions that encourage problem-solving. Ask, “Why do you think that?” or “What other way could you approach this?”

    

3. Less focus on control, more on meeting them where they are: Commenting on an influencer's make up or diving into the depths of Zelda Breath of the Wild may seem trivial to you but try to get into their world. Ask about their interests, friends, classes, and how their day is going—not to tally their grades but to show genuine care.  

    

4. Less problem-focused, more person-focused: Instead of criticising their behaviour, focus on what they need to succeed. Instead of “You never stick to anything”, try “You seem stuck on getting started. What might help?” Less: “you’re a bad student” and more “What do you need to succeed? An online tutor? A study buddy?”

Many parents might roll their eyes and think “I am not letting my kid get away with being lazy.” But we’d ask you, when has nagging and demanding motivated you? Teen brains are motivated to contribute and explore. We sometimes need to help them find ways to do that through inquiry and not instruction.  

Helping kids spend time in Explorer mode doesn’t just make for happier kids—it also makes them more productive. By encouraging their curiosity and by learning how to engage them through metacognitive skills, we can equip our kids to thrive in our era of constant change. Ultimately, that will help them become better learners who are more confident, capable, and successful.

Learn more about Nord Anglia’s metacognition research here.

Jenny Anderson is an award-winning journalist, author, and speaker with more than 25 years of experience. Her work has appeared in some of the world’s leading publications, including The New York Times, where she was on staff for 10 years, TIME, The Atlantic, the Wall Street Journal, and Quartz. You can follow her through her free newsletter: How to Be Brave.

Rebecca Winthrop is a leading global authority on education. She is the director of the Center for Universal Education at Brookings and an adjunct professor at Georgetown University. She is a highly sought after advisor and speaker including by parent networks, school leaders, the White House, the United Nations and Fortune 500 companies.