Supporting Your Child in the Transition to Middle School

How has time gone by so quickly, one might ask? Just the other day your child was entering Nursery or was going to their first day of the Lower School (Elementary), and now, they’re preparing for the step up to Middle School. You may have thoughts such as “how can I prepare my child for this leap and how can I maintain a strong, supportive relationship, while my child seeks more independence?” Of course, things are going to be different. Year 7 (6th Grade) students are going from primarily having one teacher to multiple teachers, and classrooms, navigating lockers as well as handling a more challenging curriculum and having ample opportunities to get involved in other aspects of school life.

But no-one likes change, right? With change, comes fear. Ultimately, however, we must embrace it. Unknowns can be exciting. Nerves are inevitable.

With some practical tips outlined below, children can look to prepare ahead of time and adjust accordingly.

Are you ready?

Let’s go.

It’s time for the big step up to Middle School.

Organization

In general, teachers in the Middle School expect students to be independent, organized, and resilient. While these skills may still be in development, some basics will help students to settle in quickly:

- Having the right equipment (check out the ‘school supply list’ in the school handbook).
- Utilizing a locker (encourage your child to store items in their locker; print a copy of your child’s schedule for them to place on the inside of their locker door. - --- Provide them with locker organizers to keep their belongings in an orderly manner).
- Check what homework your child has to complete and when significant deadlines are (most schools will have an online portal for this).

Communication

We can’t underestimate the power of active listening. Giving children our undivided attention, in a judgment-free zone can be so powerful. When students are having difficulties, sometimes, they don’t need a fix, but they just need a space to vent. Providing time in the day to create opportunities for conversation is a must. Sometimes side-by-side conversations (such as when you’re driving, or walking together) can be the most effective, rather than a face-to-face environment.

- Parent-teen researcher Andy Earle has several podcasts available through his website for further tips.
- The NSPCC (UK) provides good guidance for support in how to talk to children about difficult topics. LINK.

Advocation skills

Middle School provides a fantastic opportunity for children to embrace handling problems on their own. Encouraging them to ask questions, speak up, and stand up for themselves are all good skills that we need in the workplace and in life. Remember, temporary struggle is good; it teaches problem solving. Setbacks are inevitable, but working through them will help build resilience. As parents, you can still follow up with teachers, especially if there are issues with schoolwork, social issues, or emotional problems.

Focus on skill improvement, not perfect grades

Getting a good report is important, but the desire to be ‘perfect’ in school can lead to anxiety and emotional problems. Encourage your child to develop skills, resilience and grit. Discuss feedback provided on tasks and open the conversation to help them to manage their expectations for academic success. Reward the effort, not the end result.

Encourage them to take positive risks

With risk comes growth, students need to be comfortable challenging themselves and taking positive risks. Here are some ways to get involved in the Middle School:

- Trying out for a sports team.
- Taking on a student leadership role.
- Trying out for the school play.

Boundaries

Middle schoolers naturally seek more independence, and while it’s important to give them the freedom to make choices, and to own and learn from their mistakes, it’s also important to maintain appropriate boundaries. The dreaded ‘when do I get my child a cell-phone?’ debate continues, and the completion of homework will inevitably be a sticking point.

- Limit screen time (you can put controls on devices – (LINK), can you implement screen-free zones in the house, e.g.the dinner table?
- Create a designated space and time for completing homework, encourage breaks, encourage the struggle.
- Friendships – encourage dialogue and debate for topics such as what makes a good friend? Review situations and assess how they handle conflicts.

Sleep and Routines

According to www.sleepfoundation.org children need 8 to 10 hours of sleep every night. Adequate sleep will help them cope with anxiety, and process new experiences and change.

- Reduce screen time before bed.
- Create a bedtime routine (try this in the run-up to the start of the term).
- Limit caffeine consumed.

In summary, it is normal for children to feel nervous prior to starting the new school year, particularly when moving to a new phase. However, with the right support, we know they will adjust to their new environment and will be successful in their school experience. If you have any concerns, don’t hesitate to reach out to the school.

Good luck, and welcome to the Middle School!